4 Reasons You Should Date Or Be Disciplined To Yourself Before Dating Any Other Person..

One night, I went on a date with myself and it changed my life. That night, I also overcame a huge personal fear: being alone.
I had been dating this guy for a steady period of time when he decided to call it quits. I was devastated and hurt until I caught myself throwing an endless pity party and didn’t like it.
At that moment, I decided I’d take the initiative and do something completely different that I had never done before; I’d go on a “date” with myself.
I got out of my bed and decided to prepare for my “date.” I combed my hair, put on makeup, dressed in my best outfit and looked up movie times.
I had been begging my ex to watch Kevin Hart’s newest movie, “The Wedding Ringer,” and since I never had the chance to watch it, I decided that I’d take myself to the next showing.
It was around 9 pm and the movie wouldn’t start until about 10:15 pm. During this hour of waiting, I was actually nervous and excited.
I was nervous because this would be my first time going to the movies by myself, an act that I was always too prideful to do before. I was excited to overcome my fear of being alone in a normally “social” activity.
I arrived a little earlier, as if I were on a real date, bought my ticket and grabbed a seat toward the back. My purse sat beside me, where my ex would’ve sat.
I started to panic as I looked around and saw the theater was filled with couples, but I quickly corrected my thoughts and reminded myself that I was on a date as well — with myself.
I used the time to release my emotions. I laughed when I wanted to laugh and I cried when I needed to cry.
I realized I was spending time with “someone” who knew my deepest, darkest secrets, who was there to celebrate my happiest triumphs, who was there during the times when I cried alone in my car, who understood my little quirks and pet peeves, who was there in the lowest points of my life, who was there since the beginning of time when I was born and who will be there until the day I take my last breath.
I was on a date with myself, the person who sacrificed the most when she loved the wrong people, when she should’ve learned how to love and embrace her own self.
I accomplished two major things by seeing this movie. First, I did something new and saw a movie alone. Second, I was no longer afraid of doing things alone or being alone because I knew I had myself.
Some people might misinterpret why I find it so important to go on a “date” with oneself. It might seem narcissistic to some, but that’s completely off. It’s important to go on a date with yourself because if you can’t love yourself, who will?
If you only depend on others for happiness, you’ll be disappointed in the end. But, if you take a small portion of your time and dedicate it strictly to yourself by putting your phone on silent, ignoring the incoming texts and focusing solely on spending time with yourself (as you would with any other date), you’ll slowly find the inner peace that you were relying on others to find.
As I reevaluate my history, I acknowledge that I was afraid of being alone. I feared never finding someone who would “love” me. I was always searching for another soul to give me the confirmation that I was worthy, but yesterday, I finally went on a date with “someone” who made me realize that I don’t need that.
I will use this period of my life to heal from all the brokenness that I’ve suffered. I’ve realized that only putting on a Band-Aid every time I have a gash isn’t the best way to solve things. I need to first clean up the wound, disinfect the area, add ointment to the injury, then wrap a Band-Aid around myself.
There are steps for healing, yet I was too impatient. I sought for quick resolutions, but it only delayed the healing process for me in the end.
Just as it takes steps and time for a physical wound to heal, the same applies for emotional wounds.
The best way for me to heal from a broken heart is to redirect my energy toward myself, not my exes or the wrong people who entered my life.
I will use this time to do all the things that I wanted to do or accomplish, but pushed aside to accommodate other people. I will cherish the moments when I spend time with the one person who will never (nor can ever) leave my side.
To those who have put off dates with his or her own self, this is my advice to you:
1. Plan a day that you’ll spend with just yourself and pick activities that you’ll do:
When you have a planned schedule and a list of activities that you can do, you’ll find yourself more willing to follow through with your plan, rather than deciding to skip out because you’re unsure of what to do.
Also, use this time to do all the things that you wish you did before. Is there a new movie that you’ve been dying to see? Is there a new restaurant that opened around the block that you’ve been wanting to check out?
The freshness of a new activity will help to keep you busy and also be refreshing as you step away from your normal routine.
2. Treat yourself to a nice dinner:
I don’t know about you, but food makes my world go around. If you’re uncomfortable grabbing dinner alone, you can also go to a delicious dessert spot and treat yourself for a shorter amount of time.
And, if wonder why you should treat yourself, instead wonder why not?
3. Look and dress your best, as if you’re on a real date:
When you look good, you feel good. Imagine how you’d feel when you’re in your sweats or PJs, laying in bed and not showering. You feel like sh*t.
But, if you shower, do your hair, wear your best outfit and go do these activities by yourself, not only will you feel better about yourself, but you’ll be taking care of yourself, too.
You were willing to go out of your way to look your best for others; you should do no less for yourself.
4. Reevaluate your history and appreciate yourself:
When it’s a friend’s birthday and I get all “lovey-dovey” as I write the card, I tend to look back at our friendship and its history. I think about the happiest moments with this friend, and I’d also think of our painful ones, as well.
I’d remember how good this friend made me feel when he or she encouraged or gave me wise advice. You need to apply this same concept to yourself.
Think of all the times you were alone or felt alone. Think of all the times you felt like you were on top of the world. There is only one person in this world who has experienced every minute and second of your life with you.
You are the only person who was there, even when your close loved ones, family and friends couldn’t be by your side.
You are the only one who has battled your inner demons, who understands the pain and worries and struggles, who understands why certain things annoy you the way they do and who knows all the secrets and concerns that you can’t even seem to share with your best friend.
You are the only one who has felt the pain that you can’t describe. You’ve seen yourself at the most vulnerable state you’ve ever been in, when you felt like you hit rock bottom.
You’ve been the one who cried yourself to sleep, or pushed yourself to wake up and get another day of life started.
It is only you who ultimately has the power to control the destiny of your happiness. And, it is ultimately only you who has the power to make your dreams come true as well.
Love yourself, embrace yourself and go on a first date with yourself.

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For all who care to listen, I am not dating Flavor Nabania – Singer, Chidinma Ekile

When photos of award winning singer and MTN Project Fame Season 3 winner, Chidinma Ekile, kissing high-life music sensation, Flavor Nabania flooded the Internet, fans went ballistic.
Chidinma who is perceived to be everyone’s little sweetheart probably wasn’t expecting the bashing that could come from the shoot of Flavour’s ‘Ololufe’ video.
Since the video which shows Chidinma popularly referred to as Miss Kedike kissing perceived playboy, Flavor, hit the air, the former has had to fight off negative comments.
Clearing the air while speaking on HipTV, Chidinma said, “I try as much as possible to stay scandal free but we all know that you are in this industry and even when you are trying so hard, some people will still have some terrible things to say but I try though.”
On the kiss that created a frenzy, she explained, “Well, it is a love song and we were supposed to be a couple, so whatever you saw was acting, we were acting out the lyrics of the song, and for everyone who cares to listen, I’m not dating Flavour.”

Wizkid reveals he is desperate to work with singer Asa

Afro pop star, Wizkid has revealed he would want to work with soul singer, Asa.
The singer of ‘Ojuelegba’ fame has said he wants to work with Asa who is currently on her United Kingdom tour of her latest album, Bed of Stone.
Wizkid who took to his Twitter page, wrote, “Yo Asa has to be the only one I want to work with so bad! Love love her!”
It is worthy of note that Asa who has so far released three studio albums has not featured anyone on any of them but has been featured on Naeto C’s ‘Share My Blessings’ and Jeremiah Gyang’s ‘Take Me Higher’.

For The Ladies, Its Val! Here 20 Good Questions to Ask Your Boyfriend.

But with these 20 good questions to ask your boyfriend you’ll find out imperative information that will guide you into your futures.

1. What is your full name?

If you don’t already know, this is an important question to ask. Not only will you be able to know more about him, but you’ll also be able to identify his ethnic background and even imagine yourself with his last name!

2. Do you have a nickname?

This question is both engaging AND fun. You might find out he has an incredibly adorable nickname you can start using!

3. If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?

See what kind of man he is: the man who wants to relax by the beautiful ocean waters of Mexico or the adventurous type who wants to escape to the mountains of Germany during the winter.

4. Where do you see yourself in the future?

With this question, you can really find out what type of man he is. He could be destined for greatness, wishing he was made of millions, or you might find out he’s a simpleton who just wants a large family and a house on the hill.
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5. Do you want kids?

Note: Don’t ask this until later into the relationship. Nonetheless, it’s very important. If he is definitely against having children and you want 10 little ones, the two of you probably aren’t going to last too long.

6. What’s your idea of a good relationship?

See what he views as important and make sure the two of you are on the right track.

7. Do you like to cook?

Is your man the type of guy who will bring you a delicious breakfast in bed, or does he cringe at the thought of picking up a pan? Find out with this question. If he says yes, why not have dinner at his place this weekend.

8. What would you do on our 1 year anniversary?
See just how romantic your boyfriend is with this simple question.

9. What would you do if you won the lottery?

This is a great question as you’ll be able to see a different side of your man. Would he give some to charity? Buy his mom a new house? Or would he simply spend the mass quantities of dollars on himself?

10. If you could have one superpower, what would it be?

This question is just plain out fun. What superpower will he choose and how would he use it for good? (Or evil!)

11. What’s your idea of the perfect date?

Going hand-in-hand with the anniversary question, here you’ll be able to see the level of romanticizing your man is capable of doing.

12. Are you the jealous type?

Such an important question, and the answer is even more important. After all, you don’t want to stick around with a man who’s insanely jealous or a man who doesn’t care what you do (or with who).

13. What would you do if someone hit on you while we’re together?

Every woman is curious as to how her man will react in this situation. Any other answer than ‘I would tell her I have a beautiful girlfriend I am loyal to’ is unacceptable.

14. Do you have a certain type of girl you go after?

Find out whether or not he stepped out of his boundaries for your relationship or if he simply has one look he prefers.

15. What is your worst habit?

Finding out sooner than later is always best. I mean, if he’s a heavy drinker and you don’t touch a lick of liquor, the relationship might not run smoothly.

16. What does love mean to you?

Such a deep and provoking question, but it’s definitely one you need to know. Don’t waste your time with a man who doesn’t cherish love or doesn’t even care to experience it.

17. What’s the longest relationship you’ve been in?

Again, with this question you can decide what type of guy he is: a hit it and quit it type of guy, or a man looking for his soulmate.

18. Are you close with your family members?

A man who’s close with his family is typically a man who cherishes loved ones, therefore he will cherish you. However, there are always those cases in which something has happened that breaks families apart.

19. Do you care more about looks or personality?

Find out if your guy is just with you for your tan skin and perfect hair, or if he searches deep within to find out who you really are.

20. Do you follow your heart or your head?

This question is actually very deep and will provoke a lot of feelings. Does your man logically think about a situation, or react when his heart is throbbing?

“How to make your child a book lover”. – SEAJOHN

For kids today, reading books has some severe competition from several other, seemingly more interesting pursuits.

Watching the television or playing video games doesn’t encourage kids to visualise scenarios or play around with their imagination as much as a love for reading does.

Needless to say, the reasons for nurturing a love for reading in kids are diverse, and can do wonders in increasing their overall proficiency as they grow as well as inducing a vivid imagination. Here are a few simple ways you can do that.

Set aside a regular reading time:”If you make reading to your child a part of your daily routine, reading will become a habit to them, in much the same way like getting dressed or brushing their teeth becomes a daily activity,” says psychologist Seema Hingorany.

Match their personal interests:Start off by readin books matching your childs personal likes. It could be anything, right from dinosaurs to space ships, from planets to gardening. Once you get them interested, most of the work is done. Reading books of various genres can help to enhance the capability of the child to articulate themselves better.

Model good and consistent reading habits:If you read often or consistently, it’s bound to rub off on tour child as well. “It could be something simple like reading the newspaper on a daily basis or your favourite magazine, but it is important for your kids to see you read as well,” says counsellor Anita Peters.

Join a library or reading group:Libraries can give you better idea of what to read to your kid and how.

An added advantage of this, is that you can virtually devour books without worrying about any financial constraints or hassle of buying books that aren’t easily available in the markets.
Get started with these

– The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe by C.S. Lewis

– Charlie and the Chocolate Factory by Roald Dahl

– The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien

– Secret Seven or Famous Five series by Enid Blyton

– Harry Potterseries by J.K Rowling

– Treasure Island by RL Stevenson

– Where the Wild Things Are by Maurice Sendak

8 Things most couples are scared of on Valentine’s day..

For many couples, the cons of Valentine’s Day can make a special day into something of a nightmare.

1. Everyone asks what you’re doing.

Maybe you have great plans. Maybe you don’t. Either way, while your coworkers and friends’ intentions are good, it can get a little repetitive.

And, there’s always at least one person who then complains about their relationship or lack thereof, one person who compares their plans to yours (especially if he or she thinks his or hers are better) and one person who takes it upon him or herself to judge what your plans are and make suggestions.

People invite themselves into the intimate space between you and your significant other, and that isn’t healthy.

Valentine’s Day is supposed to be a celebration of love, and the way a couple chooses to celebrate — or not — is not meant to be open for others’ opinions.

2. Your wallet cries a little.

You love to please your significant other. He or she loves doing the same for you, but your wallet doesn’t.
The average consumer spends $116.21 on Valentine’s Day and $2.1 billion on flowers, altogether.
What do people (including singles) buy the most of? Not surprisingly, candy.
It doesn’t help that there is a lot of weird, subliminal advertising that goes into it. You know she doesn’t particularly like chocolate, but the giant stand of heart-shaped boxes in your local supermarket pressures you to think otherwise

3. Valentine’s Day Dinner

You had to make a reservation kind of last minute, which was stressful.

The “prix fixe menu” is overpriced for no reason; the service sucks, and the restaurant is crowded. The tight dress you’re wearing doesn’t hide the pasta bloat.
Sure, it’s a nice dinner together (an expensive one), but you both would rather be on the couch eating pizza.

4. There’s a weird pressure to outperform yourself.

Valentine’s Day pressures even the stablest of couples to feel like they have to rise the bar, somehow.
This can be in any area: sexually, gifts, shows of affection and the like.
You start thinking this might be the time to try some highlights, or that weird lingerie that looks more like an indiscernible contraption than underwear.

5. You’re afraid your single friends will hate you for a day.

You have to tiptoe around the subject for about a week.
You vaguely reference some sort of “plans” when they ask you about what you’re doing, but you know better than to go into detail about what you have planned for the day.
Then, there’s awkwardly sitting there while they launch into their third manifesto of why men suck.
Valentine’s Day is about love, but not just romantic love. It’s important to love on your friends — do it with sassy cards and craftier gifts if you’re the hands-on type.

6. That one gift that’s just a little… off.

It’s like Christmas sweaters from Grandma, but with more feelings at stake.
Maybe your boyfriend thought getting you a giant teddy bear was cute, but why does it creep you out so much? Here are some cool gifts: this, that and that.

7. Not wanting to get him a bad gift.

Whoops. There are a few days left — not enough time to get something shipped, and not enough time to think of something cool. Here are some things you can get him.

8. But, with the right person, every day is Valentine’s Day.

For many couples, Valentine’s Day is a day you are supposed to do wonderful things for your significant other and remind him or her that he or she is special to you.
The most special days together are the ones that are normal for everyone else except you two.
Learn to speak one another’s “love language.” Surprise him or her on perfectly ordinary occasions, bring him or her lunch or send a sweet “I love you” text out of the blue. Having a pre-set day of love lessens the satisfaction for some couples.

Valentine’s Day is stressful for everyone.

A holiday that is meant to be about love and cherishing those close to you becomes a frantic arms race to meet the standards of what we think

Valentine’s Day should be about.

Whether you’re single or taken, make this Valentine’s Day an occasion to celebrate love in the way you choose, unapologetically.

– Lizzy Ta

Rapper kicks girlfriend out of his house because she refused to have sex with his dog..

A rapper in Baton Rouge, Louisiana, uploaded a video on Instagram, in which he confesses to asking his girlfriend to have sex with his dog.

When the woman refused, 29-year-old Kevin Gates kick her out of his house.

Last month, Gates caused a storm after announcing that he was dating his cousin even though it is seen as incest. In the video posted on

Instagram, Gates reveals the discussion he had with the woman who refused to have sex with his dog.

“I didn’t call you here to just lay down with me. You can take an Uber home for all I care,” Gates told the woman. Uber is a mobile app offering car service.

Gates said that the woman was offended by his bizarre request.

Gates also showed the dog in question on the video in order to show his followers that he was talking about having sex with an animal and not with a person he refers to as “dog.”