You’re Falling In Love With Someone Off normal-Limits-Tips To help You Are

You’re Falling In Love With Someone Off-Limits—Now What?

Falling in love with someone off-limits is undoubtedly complicated and rarely ideal. We’ve got 4 tips for navigating your own off-limits romance.

1) Determine if the person really is off-limits.

People who are otherwise open-minded can be very judgmental about love, sometimes ruling out anyone who isn’t their “type.” Here’s the truth: There’s a chance that the person who could love you best isn’t as tall, muscular, or accomplished as you think you’d like. Superficial traits aren’t inherent dealbreakers.

So who’s really, truly off-limits? Someone in a serious committed relationship. There are few other people to add to the list: people who show no interest in you despite your obvious interest in them, who are bitter and jaded from previous relationships, or who exhibit a lot of ‘red flags’.

2) Don’t rush in.

Of course, what starts off-limits doesn’t always stay off-limits. Sometimes people fall in love in messy circumstances that could hurt other people. It’s not ideal, but it’s a personal decision for the individuals involved to make. No one said love was easy. That said, feeling something doesn’t mean that you have to act on it. It’s normal to sometimes find yourself attracted to someone you can’t have. Ask yourself— and honestly answer — these questions before making any decisions about pursuing someone who’s off-limits.

What could happen, both good and bad?

How would my decision affect other people? Can I live with myself knowing that my actions could potentially hurt others?

What advice would I give to a loved one who was in this situation?

If everyone were to do what I’m thinking of doing, what would happen?

3) Love the player, not the game.

Before you proceed any further with an off-limits relationship, it’s important to make sure that you’re interested in the person, not just the thrill of forbidden romance. Excitement and danger are fun temporarily. But if you really want a future with someone, you can’t keep your relationship on the down-low or your attraction one-dimensional.

When you’re attracted to a man for the right reasons, you’re attracted on multiple (physical, emotional, spiritual, etc.) levels, psychologists explain. You tend to feel like the best version of yourself. You feel more good than bad, whether you’re with or without him. So if you feel great when you’re with your secret love, but guilt-ridden or resentful when you’re apart, something needs to change.

4) Learn from your decision.

Maybe your off-limits romance will end in happiness. Maybe it won’t. Perhaps you’ll decide it’s not worth the risk. Whatever the case, it’s important to remember that every relationship, mistakes and all, teaches us something.

When it comes to love, we tend to learn the hard way. At the very least, an off-limits relationship helps us improve and make the inner changes necessary to attract a higher-quality person who’s available.

And the best possible result? Two people who overcome the odds to get together … and stay that way


Former ASUU president, Festus Iyayi, to be buried in December

Former ASUU president, Festus Iyayi, to be buried in December

A family member of the late Festus Iyayi, Prof. Robert Ebewele, on Thursday announced that funeral ceremony for the deceased has been fixed for first week of December.

Ebewele made the disclosure, when Pro-Chancellor of the University of Benin (UNIBEN), Effiong Dickson Bob and his entourage, paid a condolence visit to the family of the former President of Academic Staff of Universities Union, ASUU.

The academic also said the funeral would begin with a commendation service.

While thanking the sympathizers, he assured that the family would keep the university community informed on the burial programme.

Earlier in his remark, Effiong, who was accompanied by the UNIBEN Vice Chancellor, Osayuki Oshodin, said he was deeply hurt by the incident.

According to him, “though death must surely come, how and when it will come is what we don’t know.”

“But it’s unfortunate that Iyayi died in the cause of finding a university system where things are done properly.

“It’s my hope that his death will spur ASUU leadership to honour him by finding a lasting solution to the strike even as I urge all those who are alive to do all they could with steadfastness and courage,” he stated.

Meanwhile, the University of Ibadan (UI) chapter of the ASUU has suspended forthwith all its activities and programmes to honour the late Iyayi.

A terse statement by UI Chairman of ASUU, Olusegun Ajiboye, said the decision became imperative to honour the deceased who devoted his life to fighting injustice and served the union meritoriously.

“We regret to inform you that Prof Festus Iyayi was killed by the Kogi State Governor’s convoy while on Union assignment.

“Therefore, all Union programmes are hereby postponed until further notice to mourn the dead,” he said.

ASUU Update: National Meeting To Hold On Saturday

ASUU Update: National Meeting To Hold On Saturday

Nov 14, 2013

An impeccable source, one of the prominent leaders of Academic Staff Union of Universities, ASUU, who pleaded anonymity because he was not authorized to comment on this yet has disclosed to newsmen that the suspended ASUU Nation Executive Committee, NEC meeting earlier postponed in honour of Late Prof. Festus Iyayi, a renown novelist, former ASUU president and prominent leader of ASUU may be reconvened on Saturday.

He reiterated that the news of of Prof Iyayi’s sudden death came as a rude shock to the union; most painfully, Late Iyayi was on ASUU official assignment when he met his gruesome and untimely death, so there was nothing the Union could do to honour the late hero at the point than to put on hold it NEC meeting scheduled to hold in Kano. “There is strong indication that the NEC meeting will be reconvened on Saturday”. He further stated in strong term that unless ASUU leaders re-decides, the NEC meeting will hold on Saturday.

When asked if the strike will actually be suspended, he said: “I think so, judging by reports from the Monday congresses we held simultaneously, the union may suspend the strike on Saturday or Sunday.”

It will be recalled that ASUU had suspended indefinitely it NEC meeting where decision to either end or continue the lingering strike will be taken due to the death of Late Prof. Festus Iyayi, a former ASUU president.